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Closure

After 9 yrs with a deviant art account, im deleting it. I saved some of the better poems from ages ago. Thought this would be a good place to put them. #poetry #heartache #damnation #prose #wordsonapage

Damnit

Engulf me with you love, blanket my soul relentless
My thoughts race like ants in the sun
What have I done?

I answered to your call, followed you into the darkness
My soul ravaged, my shirt torn and jeans on the floor
I remember every thrust, every lick and nibble

Quivering still, shaking still, angry still…
Out of the void a sexplosion, destruction of sanity
You swallowed me whole, flicked your tongue and didn’t let go
I felt my spine cave in, my skull filling with blood

Entering you thrust after thrust, enough
The darkness makes me do weird things
Shallow breathes, the sweat on a rip stings

The sounds of writhing snakes in a muddy mating ball
Echoing my name after the fall
It was cold, it was hard to see, the pain I felt
What have you done?

Deviant eyes pry my heart open, jeans open…
Am I just the tool for your pleasure?
I’ve broken my rules, I let someone in
What do I do now…, why am I so obsessed.

Fuck I’m dying, fuck I’m crying, fuck I’m lying, fuck it.
Fuck me suck me make me a whore
Treat me like a tool, till I’m wet and sore.

In the end I know who wins….

Taboo

A kiss
Innocent and totally indulgent, reckless and forgiving
Opens up a new faith, a religion of truth to oneself


Mine eyes are open now, the path laid out before me
Crystal eyes leading the way, hot blooded tempest


Lust in your eyes, lust in your flesh, writhing together
meeting the thrust, fate as it would seem plays funny games


Its hard to tell at times, whats truth, what is fantasy
Its hard to believe at times, what feels right, and natural


Every touch electric, every smile addicting, sly little touches
hiding our taboo


At night I lay dreaming, of time we spent together
Deep seated lust fills my brain, blood pulsing in my veins…


I taste you, deeply, lovingly, full of lustful sin…
Is this where it will begin?


My thoughts are of you now, more and more with every night passing.
I still have to wonder how much of this will be ever-lasting


I can still feel you next to me, your warm soft skin.
Naked to the touch, loving it so much…


With every brush of flesh, my need for you increases
But fear resides in me. My life is in pieces…


This taboo we engage in, commit to
set our lives to believe in, love in, fall in…

Ruined

Tattered and beaten
Life upheaved
Like vomit on the street
fits of rage turn to
anguish and disgust
laughing in distrust
My soul was torn usunder
My mind induced to blunder
worthless refuse, is all
I am….
Nothing more then a world
of hate in a tin can…
You may have just ripped my
heart out
I’m ruined Forevermore
I don’t trust, I crave human
touch…
Which way is up, I can’t
find the sun
Left in Solitude, confused &
alone.
Self doubt, ruins my thoughts
Never ending search for my
sanity
WHAT HAS BECOME OF ME.


Unsaveable, untouchable, cold as ice
filled with nothingness I trudge thru life..


What the fuck is this life?
Where the hell do I go now?
Thought I found an angel…..
but theres no truth in lies.


I’m ruined….

Glimpse

So is this it?
Been so long, I don’t remember…
Love and how it feels, shuddering on this cold October…
walking alone, the brisk night against my skin
tell me dear one, how do we begin?


A buzz like a caffeine rush to my chest
Breathing in deeply, your skin next to mine
This time isn’t forever, or this existance
But some days I still feel blessed.
Tell me my love, howd we get undressed?


Something in the cold air calls to me
Let go of anything lingering in the old reality
forging on thru a new days dawn
yesterday is dead and gone.
The synapses fire again, and idea passes to the skin
what lustworthy attempts will this life grant me in sin?
The past remains like a bee sting
that bitter pill has taught me this thing
Better to have loved, then to have never loved at all.

Untitled I

Obliterated, am I beyond repair
Agony, life like this isn’t fair
Death, will it be my final release


Take and Take, I’ve no more to give
Willing to rob me of what I need to live
Poor excuses run rampant like flies to a wound
Theres no exceptions, the deal needs to end soon
feeling my sanity slipping away


Why do you do this? Why do you make me die inside?
Why must you kill what was once alive inside?


You’ve no remorse for your actions, cold, calculating
taking hints from god knows where…
this isn’t fair.

Icarus in flames

I sit here and try to map out the past
setting sights on the future.
Longing for love and touch, longing to be me
been so long now
since I can remember how I used to be

Ive been changed, and mentally wiped so many times
Most times I feel I’m in a B movie and I don’t know the lines

This world spins around me, my mind vibrates with this shit I see
Why do i torment myself, why am I my own devilish torture.

My mothers death still sits with me. Unwanted needed guest fueling my strength.
Its here in a small ball of pain deep within my heart, decaying, blackening till the end
I’m alone now. My decisions are mine, these rules do not bend

Sleep walking through this unwanted unlived life, waiting for the end to bring me back
But the end of times keeps getting put off, setting my life back

I have so many plans and things to do in my life, will I get the chance?
I walk the miles asleep at the feet, crying for the change to finally end its time.

I cant do this situation any more, Its killing me inside and out
decaying my miserable soul, killing my mind slowly in its descent.
I’m alone. Forever alone as I try to fly as high as I can.
The flames of misconception blur the thin lines of my reality.
I lay there at night in the cool December air, gusting through the windows, in silence
Contemplating my next step, arguing with my selves about whether or not to awake in the dawn
How do I find the strength to keep moving on.

This is me alone here with my wings burning as I fly, the descent to earth eminent
Yet I keep pushing on, hoping for a miracle to happen, hoping that something will
Alone amongst the clouds I continue to ponder my existence, wonder at why I lament
this is me now…


………….. Icarus in flames.
Alone left to die.

Untitled II

Special sentence for the damned
so hard to fulfill the demand

Under the crescent moon I cried
the night I realized my humanity died.

With venomous stupidity infecting the world
I sit here with hope
that angels will come and sunder this world.

Black heart blackens more as days pass
The hole in my soul so deep
they said this agony would pass
….. and yet I still wake up crying in my sleep.

All hope seemed lost, as I take an uneven breath in this bitter winter air.
Why do I bear this cross, unearthing the skulls of where I’ve been.

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